Frozen
by Alexandlion
Summary: Alice saw her first vision when she was six, and her whole life changes from there... this is her life. "Until the day I die."
1. It All Starts

**So… I was just brainstorming ideas, and suddenly I was like "What happened to Alice?" So this is her story.**

**Oh yeah, and bear with me, I don't really know how mental asylums were like.**

**FYI, I'm not the all-powerful Stephenie Meyer.**

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It was a beautiful summer morning, and I was six. My family and I were having a picnic in our garden, my father in his trousers and neat shirt, my mother in her garden dress. My sister, Cynthia, who was still four, was gently stroking the cat. It was a picture you expected to see on postcards, the perfect Brandon family picnicking.

I was laughing, running around when it hit me. I fell to the ground, clutching my head. _My father, much older, shouting at a girl that looked remarkably like me. Blackness. More blackness._

"Alice?" My mother cried, and rushed to me, with my sister and father following behind. "Alice?"

The little six-year-old me opened her eyes to find my family frozen in stages of fear and panic. "I'm fine." I said, with a weak smile.

"What happened?" My father asked, mopping his brow with a handkerchief. My mother said nothing, but I could see the same question, waiting to be asked, on her face. Mother, it must be said, was quite inquisitive and loved gossip of all matter. But something told me she wouldn't make this particular episode be public.

My young, naïve self decided to confide in my family. After all, I reasoned, they were grown-ups. Grown-ups always knew what to do.

"First I saw you, Daddy." I said seriously. "You were much older. And you were yelling at a girl that looked like an older me. And then it all went black."

My parents faces went white. My mother pulled out her handkerchief and started mopping her brow with as much fevered enthusiasm as my father. They mopped for a moment, then my mother said "Alice, dear, are you joking?"

I looked from my mother to my father. They were both wearing similar expressions, as if someone had told them that it was National Toilet Day and then peed on their shoes. It was an expression of such shock and disgust that I felt small. I wanted, more than anything, for them to stop looking at me like that. "Yes, Mother." I said, feeling my stomach twist at telling a lie to my parents.

_Two years later_.

I was lying down in my bed, staring at the ceiling. It was just an hour after another one of those strange things. It was perhaps my seventeenth blur, as I had come to call them. They had started coming faster and faster, more and more of them.

I have realized that I can't talk about them with my parents. I don't want to talk about it with my sister, either. This is my problem and I don't want to bring anyone into it.

All the same, I worry. What is happening to me? I don't want to analyze those blurs too much- I had already made it real enough with giving it a name- but now it frequently just shows blackness and people dressed terribly, with such terrible expressions on their faces that it nearly scares me half to death.

I can't think about it now. Maybe when I'm not merely eight I'll be able to do something about it, do something to stop it. But for now I am eight and there's nothing I can do about it. Nothing at all.

Go to sleep, Alice.

***

Now, they come almost every week. I don't talk about it with my family- with anyone- but they're not stupid. They can see the empty look in my eyes. They know what's happening.

Well, they know that I am seeing those blurs. They don't know what they are. And even I still don't.

I remember that when I was eight I said that maybe when I'm older I'll figure it out. I am eleven now and I still don't understand it. It frustrates me so. Why is it coming? And why to me?

Now all it shows are the same scenes. Stick-thin people with different, but equally terrifying expressions watching me pass. And darkness. The darkness has scared me so much that I refuse to stay in the dark. Before I go to sleep I light a candle and take it to my bedroom.

I need some water.

I began walking to the kitchen, but as I passed the living room I heard my name. Stopping, I put my ear against the key hole and began to eavesdrop.

"-and Harry, it's getting worse!" I heard my mother exclaim.

"Don't worry, Margaret. It might pass." My father comforted my mother.

"Harry, but what do we do if it doesn't? We can't leave her like this. What if it happens in a public place, or, god forbid, a quiet place where everyone knows us? The questions, Harry, the questions!"

My father exhaled. "I've been thinking about that too, dearest."

I could hear my mothers panic levels rise. "Then do you have a solution? Or are we going to wait until it happens? She won't get married to anyone respectable, with the rate this is going! Do you want your daughter to be alone for the rest of her life?"

"Look, Margaret, I've been thinking…"

I was so intent on my eavesdropping on their conversation about me- and I was certain it was me- that I forgot we had a cat. And so, when said cat rubbed its back on me, I jumped and screamed. It was a quick scream, but it was quite loud.

"What was that?" I heard my mother ask before I ran to the kitchen.

I got myself a glass of water, then slumped onto the floor. What just happened? And what was _going_ to happen?

Flashes of black. What does it mean? Will I ever figure it out?

And what were my parents going to do with me, the loose end?


	2. In which it begins to unfold

**Hey everybody! I was getting a bit tired of this story, so I owe this chapter to an anonymous reviewer, who said I should continue this story!**

**Summary of last chapter: Alice gets her first vision, and doesn't know what it is. When she is eleven, she hears her parents discussing her visions and saying that something must be done.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, unfortunately.**

**That said, let it start!**

As I lay in my bed, thinking about the conversation my parents had this morning- what exactly did my father have in mind?- my mother came in.

She sat at the edge of the bed, breathing softly for a moment. Then, a hesitant "Alice?"

"Yes, mother?" I replied, sitting up quietly so I wouldn't wake up my younger sister, who slept peacefully next to me.

"Alice… is something wrong?" Mother asked gently, with a hint of curiosity.

Telling her everything was out of question.

Lying made me feel sick.

What should I do?

"Yes, Mother, something's wrong." I said, looking away.

She reached out and took my hand. "Tell me everything, darling." Mother whispered, and I realized she wasn't here to comfort. Whatever I said here would be relayed to Father. If I said something wrong, something bad was going to happen.

But I knew what I was going to say.

"I really, really would like a new kitten," I said pitifully. "But I know you and Father don't like having too many animals!"

Mothers facial expression turned to disbelief. "A _kitten_?" She echoed incredulously.

"Yes. A darling little kitten of my own." I widened my eyes and clasped my hands. "Please, Mother."

My mother blinked. "Oh. Yes. Of course!" She stumbled through the words.

I smiled. "Thank you, Mother."

"Anything for you, Alice." Mother smiled weakly and left.

I dropped down onto the bed with a quiet groan. It hadn't exactly been a lie- I really _did_ want a kitten!- but Mother could tell that I knew what the question was really about. Hopefully, she'll take it as a sign that I think I'm getting better and that it's not even worth talking about!

Hopefully.

And then a blur came.

It was different than the rest. An older me talking to a boy who seemed about the older me's age, maybe a bit older. My parents, and what looked like _his_ parents, gazing on proudly at the scene. Then- blackness…

I took what I knew and gaped. My parents will try to arrange a marriage? For _me_?

No. No, no, no, no, _no!_

Not that I don't _like_ the idea of getting married. Maybe I wouldn't have kids, but a husband would be nice. Someone who understood me, and _liked_ me.

But my husband would have to know about the blurs, and that's where I realized no sane man would ever marry someone who had visions- _visions!_

I have _visions_? No wonder my parents thought I was going insane…

So, I may as well become a nun. No one will marry someone just as bad as the next fortune teller!

But there I was, in that vision, going to have an arranged marriage.

Obviously, my parents won't tell them about my visions.

It'll be an unpleasant surprise for him.

He'll tell everyone he knows about the lunatic Mary Alice Brandon, and then even the _convent_ won't want me!

I covered my face with my pillow to stifle my sobs.

Why me?

***

"Happy fifteenth birthday!" My parents chorused as I blew out the candles.

I smiled and thought what a long way I had come from the worried eleven year old I had been. Now, whenever I had a vision, I didn't fall to the ground. I stayed standing, though my eyes went blank. My parents seemed to have noticed, and I think in their own way they were grateful to me for not embarrassing them and dirtying the Brandon name.

The kitten I had received when I was eleven- now a cat- was curled up on my lap, with the older cat curled up on Cynthia's. We shared a smile. Cynthia still wasn't quite sure what the fuss was about the visions, and I was grateful for that. I didn't need to scare my thirteen year old sister.

"Alice!" My mother called, than motioned for me to follow her.

I carefully put the cat down on the ground, then followed her into the kitchen.

When she turned around to face me, my mother's face was shining. "Alice, you'll never guess what I've done!" She squealed, and took my hand in hers. I was uncomfortably reminded of the night when she tried to get the truth out of me, and I think she was too because she dropped my hand like it was a red-hot poker.

"No, Mother, I'll never guess what you've done." I replied awkwardly, trying to bring back the conversation and trying to forget about that night.

Mother's face shined once more, the past forgotten. "I've found the perfect young man for you to marry!" She cried happily.

Oh.

The vision of the past raced back to me, and I began to panic. This meant that the other visions were near, the ones with the terrible faces that I've been trying to block all these years.

"You don't want to do that!" I smiled, trying to make up an excuse.

Mother put her hand on my shoulder. It was meant to be a gesture of friendship, but it felt wrong. Different.

"Alice, dear," She said "Don't worry. You don't have to marry him _now!_ You still have time to meet the gentleman."

Gentleman. That brought to my mind a scholarly man who was much, much older than I. Even though Mother had previously called him a 'perfect young man', Mother was known to slightly fudge ages. Like the time when she called my tutor 'a woman of many years', while she was younger than Mother.

"How old is this… gentleman?" I asked, contorting my expression to one of simple curiosity, and not panic.

"Don't worry, he's only two years older than you!" Mother laughed, and quickly brought her hand down from my shoulder.

I smiled, even though it still felt a bit wrong.

"Now, if you can excuse me, I have to go shopping!" She said, and started walking out of the room.

I turned around. "May I go with you?" I asked hopefully. Shopping was such fun…

"Oh no, dear! It's your birthday, and I know how much you hate shopping!" Mother cooed, and with a quick wave she was gone.

I was left staring at the empty doorway.

**R&R, please!**


	3. Lucky muffins

**Hey everybody! Thanks to everyone who's sticking with me, I owe you one!**

**Summary of last chapter: Alice's mother tells Alice she found someone for her to marry. Alice realizes the other visions she has been seeing will happen soon.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight.**

"_Oh no, dear! It's your birthday, and I know how much you hate shopping!" Mother cooed, and with a quick wave she was gone._

_I was left staring at the empty doorway._

***

The meeting with my future husband is today. I had to pretend I was excited, but I don't think I was fooling anyone after I threw up in the bathroom.

Mother bought me a truly hideous dress that she insisted I wear. When I put the dress on, I looked like I was wearing a muffin. Mother insisted I looked beautiful. I seriously think she needs her eyes checked.

Soon after she put me in my dress, and started on my hair and jewelry, Mother had started talking about how he looked like, and I had tuned out. Thanks to the vision, I already knew how he looked. He was only a bit taller than me, with straight brown hair and hazel eyes. My future husband would have been handsome to anyone else, but to me he just looked… wrong. I don't know whether this is because I'm scared of meeting him for fear of the visions, or whether he really just looks wrong; and I don't particularly care. All I'm trying to do now is work on blocking the visions.

"All done!" Mother beamed, and I really, really don't want to look in the mirror, but I do.

Good Lord.

What has Mother done? Now I don't look like a person wearing a muffin. I look _like_ a muffin.

"Thank you, Mother." I wavered, shooting an awkward smile in her direction.

The bell rang.

"Oh! Those must be the Smith's." Mother almost jumped with excitement, and with a last glance at me, walked briskly downstairs.

The Smith's. I don't even know my future husband's name.

I will be Mary Alice Smith. It sounds wrong. Is my whole relationship with my future husband going to be wrong?

I took a last anxious look in the mirror, than took some scissors and cut off the poofy sleeves. I'm not as much of a muffin, now. I just hope Mother won't make a big scene of me cutting off the sleeves.

"Alice!" My mother called, and I took a deep breath before I rested my hand on the banister, and started walking downstairs.

I just hope muffins bring luck.

**A/N: This was just a filler. The next chapter will be up soon. Promise!**

**Review and I'll give you a virtual cookie. Or I'll write the chapter sooner :)**


	4. Loose Ends Unravel

**Thanks to everyone who's reading this story! ILY ;)**

**Summary of last chapter: Alice gets ready to meet her future husband**.

**Disclaimer: I'm not SM!**

Well. My future husband seems… charming.

Oh, who am I kidding? Mark Smith _is_ smart, but he's truly dull. We're complete opposites. We have nothing to speak about. Muffins, I've found, _do not_ bring luck.

Our parents don't notice that, though. My mother and his are gossiping, and father is entertaining his father with tales of his work. The only people that will be happy of this marriage are them.

Mark is now talking about his studies of something-or-the-other. I don't pay attention, because all I have to do is smile and nod and the fool carries on.

"Muffins?" My mother asked, holding out a platter of them.

"Yes, please." Mark said, a thin smile on his face. After Mother had left, Mark held up a muffin and examined it closely. Then he looked at me, his face showing astonishment. "Why, I do believe your dress quite closely resembles this muffin!"

Yes. My husband-to-be compares my dress with his muffin. Splendid.

I smiled. "Thank you, Mark."

And so it continued.

At the lunch table, Mother kept shooting proud glances at me. Thin smiles were all she received. Did she honestly believe that Mark Smith and I are good together? The woman is surely going crazy. First this dress, than Mark-

"So, how is the muffin industry going?" Father asked his parents.

Of course. Mother had wanted me to look like I supported muffins by making me look like one.

I let out a soft sigh. "Mother, may you help me get the appetizers?" I asked.

Mother nodded, and we walked into the kitchen.

"How could you _honestly _believe that Mark and I have something in common?" I hissed.

Her face clouded. "Don't hiss at me, young lady. This is all for the greater good."

"_What_ greater good?" I asked. "Mother, the boy compared me to a _muffin!_"

"What's wrong with muffins?" Mother wanted to know. "And anyway, Mark comes from a good family."

"Are they ready?" Called Mrs. Smith, and so we left the kitchen with big fake smiles on our faces and a basket of bread.

***

The Smith's are here today. This is the second time in a row they've come to our house, and it was only yesterday that I met them. Fortunately, I was able to pick my own outfit. Unfortunately, the only other dress I had that still fit me was another poofy one.

I sat in the armchair and waited for dinner. Mark is talking to me again, but I have no interest in listening what he has to say. Instead, I study him.

He looks a bit washed-out, to be honest. When he talks, I can see he hasn't brushed his teeth. True, he may come from a good family, but that makes him no less of a hygiene-challenged fool.

If I get married to him, then I will be the wife of a hygiene-challenged fool. And if- Lord forbid- we have children, they'll be the _children_ of a hygiene-challenged fool and his wife. And if they end up like him, we can start a whole dynasty of hygiene-challenged fools!

I don't want to marry him!

The cats walked up to him and started rubbing themselves over Mark's trousers. He jumped up. "Shoo!" He yelled at the poor cats, who were immediately collected by Cynthia, who shot a look at Mark.

"Damned animals." My husband-to-be muttered angrily, then continued his discussion on his hobby of stamp collecting.

Excuse me?

_Damned animals?_ What a mean hygiene-challenged fool! I cannot see myself with someone who doesn't like animals.

In a daze, I stood up. All conversation stopped as everyone waited for me to do something.

"Mark," I started. "I am sorry. And I am sorry to everyone here. But I cannot- I can_not_- marry you, Mark."

And with that I left the room.

Well, I _tried _to leave the room.

But as soon as I was done, a particularly strong vision came over me. And so I collapsed, writhing on the ground.

_Blackness…_

**Ouch! Reviewing makes me happy :) Anyways, I'll probably update tomorrow, so stay with me!**

**-alicecullenrocksforever**


	5. The Train Ride from my Visions

**Thanks to everyone who's read, reviewed, favorited, or story alerted!**

**Summary of last chapter: Alice tells her husband-to-be she doesn't want to marry him, and then has a really strong vision… in front of his family.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

_Blackness…_

Blurry images flashed in front of me. A train ride- and then it was gone.

And then there was more blackness.

***

My head was killing me. I tried to open my eyes, but it was so _light_ that I closed them.

"Where am I?" I asked groggily.

"She's awake!" I heard someone call, and then I heard painfully loud footsteps coming towards me.

"_What did you do?_" Someone hissed into my ear.

Again, I tried opening my eyes, and this time I could see. I was in the living room with my family. What happened to the Smith's?

Before I could wonder, Father pulled me up roughly by my arm. "_What happened?_" He hissed again.

"I fainted from emotion." I lied.

"Really? It wasn't one of those _visions_?"

My pause said it all.

"You are in _deep trouble!_"

I tried to tune him out, but he was too loud. And then my mother joined in.

"A disgrace_-_"

"-you see?"

"-why did you-"

"-all your fault-"

I had a strange feeling of déjà vu, and then I realized I had seen this before. In a faint, fuzzy memory of when I was six. The first time the visions struck.

I took hold of a vase and threw the stupid thing against the wall, and then all was mercifully quiet.

"Explain yourself!" Mother commanded.

"What is there to explain?" I asked bitterly. "I broke off the engagement, than fainted."

My parents shot me harsh looks, then turned around and started talking in hushed tones. I took this as my cue to leave.

I ran upstairs to my room, and threw myself onto my bed.

***

"Where are we going?"

"I told you, the seaside! The fresh, salty air will clear that mind of yours."

I sat in the train with my mother and father. Cynthia had gone to boarding school, and I was wishing I could be with her.

"But _why-_"

"Silence!"

And so we continued the train trip of my visions.

I peered at the scenery. "We don't _look_ as if we're getting closer to the seaside." I said doubtfully.

Mother and Father exchanged a secret look, than continued reading the newspaper.

I straightened out my dress with a sigh. I had only known we were going to the seaside since this morning. Twice Mother looked as if she wanted to say something, but didn't. It was all very frustrating.

Absentmindedly, I started playing with my long, dark hair. My hair was my pride and joy. Cynthia had always envied it, and I like to imagine that if I had other friends they would envy it, too.

Then I noticed something. "We forgot any suitcases!"

Mother let out her breath. "They were sent in advance to the hotel we'll be staying at."

"Didn't you say going to the seaside was a last-minute decision?"

My question went unanswered.

I think my parents are lying to me.

***

A few hours later, and we looked no closer to the seaside then before. If anything, we looked as if we were getting further. All through the train trip, I had asked questions, but after receiving no answer to any of them, I had given up.

Now, all I did was long for my cat.

The train came to a shuddering stop, and I peered at the scenery again. Now we were in mountains. Either we were going to take another train, or I had been deceived.

"Where's the sea?" I asked, hoping there would be an answer, but again, only silence answered my question.

When we got out of the train, I noticed that there weren't many passengers getting out. Maybe because everyone's supposed to be at work or at school.

The only house in sight was a sprawling mansion, with red walls. As we walked towards it, I noticed there were bars on the windows._ A prison?_

Father knocked on the door, and it was opened by a burly man. "Good-day." Father said, nodding his head. The man nodded his head in return, and silently led us to an open door.

"Come in!" Someone called, and we hesitantly entered what looked like an office.

"Ah!" The man working on the desk said. "The Brandon's?"

_Is this family counseling or something?_

"Yes. And this is… Alice." He said, gesturing at me.

"Hello, Alice." The man said politely, and I gave a weak smile.

"Would you like a moment alone?" He continued, and when Father gave a nod he stood up and showed us to a little room with a few chairs. When we got in, he quietly closed the door.

"Where are we?" I asked immediately.

Mother avoided the question. "What would you like written on your grave?" She asked.

I blinked. "I'm not dead."

Mother gave a small smile. "I know, but we're going to fake your death."

"…Why?"

Father started talking now. "You're in an asylum." He said simply.

I fumed. "Oh, we're being _honest_ now, are we?"

His eyes narrowed dangerously. "We're going to have to fake your death so that no awkward questions are asked. So. What would you like to be written, Alice?"

"_She always knew it was coming_." I said resentfully.

Father took out a notebook and jotted it down. "Very well." He said, as if he did this every day.

I wouldn't be surprised if he did.

"So this is the last time I see you?" I asked.

Father laughed. "What, you think we visit asylums? Yes."

I pursed my lips. "_Very well_." I said, mimicking Father.

Both my parents stood up and gave me brief hugs. "Good bye, Alice!" They called as they walked out the door.

Me. In an asylum.

It was bound to happen, anyway.

**Thanks for reading! I'll be gone at camp till about August 1****st****, so I'll update around the second :D I'm a fast writer!**

**R&R makes me happy!**


	6. Until the Day I Die

**I'm so sorry I took so long updating! It's just that after camp we took a surprise trip to the seaside… just like Alice was supposed to… anyway, here's the newest chapter!**

**Summary of Last Chapter: Alice gets put in the asylum.**

**Disclaimer: I do **_**not**_** own Twilight (sob).**

A few minutes after my parents left, the man from the reception came in. "How are you?" He asked pleasantly.

"Fine." I said automatically, then winced at the word. If there was one thing I was _not_ right now, it was fine.

"I'm glad to hear that." The receptionist said politely. "Now, may I escort you to the hairdressers?"

_Hairdressers?_ Had my parents accidentally taken me to a hotel? They _knew_ I wanted that new style! Maybe this was all misunderstanding… maybe the hotel was called, 'The Asylum', though who would call their hotel 'The Asylum'?

"All right." I replied, and stood up. He led me to a small room, where another man was waiting behind an uncomfortable-looking chair.

The man behind the chair strode forward and started pulling me towards the chair. My shrieks of protest went ignored, and he shoved me down on the chair roughly.

"Hold her down, Thomas." He barked at the receptionist, who hurried forward and pinned me to the chair. "Well, this isn't that bad, is it?" He panted cheerfully.

Stupid optimist!

"Let me go!" I screamed. "This is uncouth!"

Thomas simply smiled. "Fiery one, isn't she, Benjamin?"

Benjamin simply grunted. "Her hair is too long for it to be shaved at once. I'm going to have to cut it first."

_Shaving my hair?_

"Wait a minute." I panicked. "Maybe, we can take this slowly. You _don't_ have to cut my hair, you can just… pin it up!"

"Sorry, miss." Benjamin said, opening and closing the scissors menacingly. "But cutting the hair is simply more convenient than pinning it up."

I snarled and thrashed my head around wildly. If a stranger had seen me, they would have thought me to be a peasant, with no manners at all, instead of a lady. But there was a time and place for manners, and right now _was not it_.

"Thomas, call in Robert to keep her head still!" Benjamin commanded.

"On it, sir!" Thomas said pleasantly, then screeched "Robert!"

A man who I assumed to be Robert appeared at the doorway in a flash. "Yes?" His voice was melodic and strangely beautiful. What I could see of him corresponded to his voice; he was the most attractive man I had ever seen.

"Keep her ruddy head still!" Benjamin bellowed.

"Now, now, sir." Robert said teasingly. "No bad language in front of the lady-"

Benjamin seethed. "I don't care! Just hold the head still!"

Robert shrugged. "Very well."

He went across the room carefully, as if he was making sure he was going at an appropriate speed. When he reached me, he cautiously took my head in his hands, which turned out to be absolutely freezing- had the man stuck his hands into some ice before he came?

I tried to fight, but found I couldn't move my head. Robert, it turned out, was quite strong.

"_Don't fight_." His voice was at a whisper so quiet only I could hear it. His head loomed over mine, his dark hair covering his eyes. "_Don't fight_." He repeated.

I stopped fighting.

I could hear the _snip_ping sound of the scissors, and could feel my hair dropping down to the floor. I hadn't even realized I was crying until I could taste salt on my lips. I felt like I was becoming hollow. A shell of what I had once been.

About twenty minutes later, Benjamin was done. "You look great." He beamed proudly. "I've done the job well. Not a single hair."

In horror, I reached my hand up to touch my head.

I screamed as I felt nothing but smooth skin underneath, though, thankfully, Benjamin hadn't done _such_ a great job, and I could feel a bit of stubble. But what did a little stubble matter? I was, in all events and purposes, bald.

"Robert, you may resume your job." Thomas said cheerfully. "I will escort young Alice to a room where she may change into her uniform."

He stopped pinning me down and stood up, brushing imaginary hair off his suit. Then he pulled me to an upright position and led me down a hallway.

Around the corner, there was a door with a discreet sign that read 'Toilet.'

"You will change in here." Thomas passed me a bundle of black clothes. "I will return in three minutes for your old clothes, and to take you to your… room."

I opened the door to a small room with a toilet, sink, and tiny window near the ceiling.

"In three minutes." Thomas echoed and closed the door behind me.

I quickly changed into the clothes and started looking around the room for means of escape.

The window was my only rational way out. If I stood on the toilet, I could look through the window. But the window wasn't big enough for a toddler to crawl through, and even though I was small for my age, I certainly wasn't that size.

I noticed something interesting. There were no mirrors in the place. After some quick thinking, I realized it must be because some of the patients here were so deranged they would break it.

But I needed to see how I looked like when I was bald, because if I somehow managed to escape, I needed to camouflage, and being bald didn't make me inconspicuous.

_The window!_

I looked at the window closely, and I could see myself reflected back. I didn't look right without hair- it was like having a beard for many years and then shaving it off. But my eyes were the scariest. They looked…

They looked dead.

A quick knock on the door. "Ms. Brandon?"

I jumped off the toilet. "Present and ready!"

Thomas opened the door and started gathering up my clothes. "These will be posted to your parents, of course." He said conversationally.

My insides froze. "Really?"

Thomas nodded. "Indeed."

A chance.

"May you deliver a letter from me to them?" I asked hopefully.

Thomas shook his head. "To them and the world outside of this asylum, you are dead."

I swallowed back tears. "Of course." I whispered.

He patted me on the back quickly. "Never fear. This is a first-rate asylum. By the end of your stay, you will have forgotten that you can 'see the future'."

"By the end of your stay?" I repeated, and a shiver came down my spine. "How long is my stay?"

Thomas looked uncomfortable. "We'd better get going, then." He said, and left my question unanswered.

I don't need the question answered, I thought feebly. I know the answer. Until the day I die.

We started to walk.

After a few twists and turns, I started to shiver. It was cold here, and I was passing some lunatics- at least, I assumed they were lunatics from their shorn hair- with the haunted expressions I had seen in my visions.

At last, we approached a thick door that was identical to the ones we had passed by before, except that each door bore a different number. This one was the number 315.

"Three hundred fifteen." Thomas pointed to the back of my shirt. "You are in room three hundred fifteen, and are prisoner number three hundred fifteen. Interesting coincidence."

"Prisoner?" I repeated.

"Well, not _prisoner_, but I can use poetic license, can't I?" He smiled at me.

I tried to smile back.

The receptionist took out a large ring of keys and fumbled for a moment, until he found the correct key and fitted it into the lock.

The door opened smoothly to reveal a small room with a tiny bed.

"A private room." Thomas explained as my eyes skimmed over the room. "Your parents requested it specially. They mentioned something about not wanting bad influences."

"Will I see the other patients?" I asked weakly. Hours on loneliness would surely drive me insane.

"Tomorrow, you will meet another new patient. He will be the last non-staff person you will see." Thomas replied automatically, then flushed red as he realized what he had just said. "It's not _that_ bad, really…"

He let his voice trail off for a second, then resumed his cheerful manner. "In you go, then!"

I took a few stumbling steps into the room, and with a quick "Good-bye!" Thomas closed the door and left me in my darkness.


	7. It could be great

**Sorry for the lengthy time between the update… I had to do a book-list kind of thingy for before school starts. And since my school starts in- gulp- five days, I was under a lot of stress. But never fear! I'm done with it, and about to show my newest chapter…**

**Summary of last chapter: Alice gets her head shaved and meets her room.**

Time seemed to pass slower in the dark.

Which was splendid, considering I was going to stay here for the rest of my life. I contemplated committing suicide, but I didn't have the courage to bash my brains out on the wall, which was really the only way I was going to get out of this cramped cell I now called home.

The tears in my eyes had long since dried out, and I was just lying on the bed, thinking. Trying to remember my life before. Already it seemed distant, as if it had belonged to someone else in a different life. The dark was getting into my head, dimming my memories and thoughts. Surely, if this kept on, I would go mad.

_Why is there no light?_ I wondered for the sixty-third time, and, as I had with the other sixty-two times, thought: _It's because the lunatics would burn this place down._

It was hard to imagine that now, I was one of the lunatics.

I turned over and adjusted the pillow to my new position. Actually- was that a pillow? I felt its coarse material and shuddered in disgust. My so-called _pillow_ was in fact a sack stuffed with something the crinkled when the sack moved.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of keys fumbling in the locks. My heart gave a small hop before I calmed it down. No use getting your hopes up, Alice. It would probably be someone getting you ready for torture.

_Torture_. I hadn't thought of that before, and my pulse speeded up as I worried. _Did they still use that nowadays?_

In fact, I was in such a frenzy, I didn't notice someone had entered the room until a silky voice asked "Do you want something to eat?"

I blushed, and replied. "Yes please."

"Unfortunately," The silky voice that I now identified as Robert said "First I must ask you a question."

"Go ahead." I said weakly, the smell of bread and butter- which had never particularly smelled to me- reaching my nose.

"Do you, Miss Brandon, see the future?"

Oh.

"Yes, sir."

"Then, sadly, you may not have the food." Robert said smoothly.

I closed my eyes briefly, then opened them. "Excuse me, sir?"

"You may not have it." Robert repeated. "And enough with the sir. Call me Robert."

I groaned inwardly, at both the thought of not having food and of calling Robert Robert. If a man of lower class-as Robert was- asks you to call them by their first name, something bad can happen.

But I had no choice. There was no social class in the asylum, except for one basic fact: The staff are more important than the lunatics.

"Very well, Robert." I said lightly, mentally cringing at having to address him as such. "Is there any torture scheduled for me today?"

I was joking- at least, I _think_ I was- but he recoiled. "How do you know that?"

I gaped. "There _is_ torture?"

"Not today." He said carefully.

I moaned. "Splendid. Did you come for anything else, or are you going to leave now?"

"If you take that tone with me, fine." He said, pouting, and turned to leave.

Then a vision took hold of me.

I gasped as I rolled into a little ball, trying to compress the pain of the vision. The vision itself was useless. It showed me talking to a man with silver stubble- obviously, the lunatic I was going to talk to in a day.

When I came to, I noticed Robert watching me with a glint in his eye. He probably thought I was still suffering, and I decided to play along to see what would happen.

"_So it's true. She's perfect for it_." He murmured quickly and quietly to himself. "_It could be great_."

Perfect for what?

I tried to listen in some more, but he figured out I was over it, so he stopped murmuring and asked politely, "All right there?"

I put my hand to my head, trying to regain my thoughts.

"I see you're fine. Goodnight, Miss Brandon."

I could hear him closing and locking the door, but my thoughts were still consumed. Perfect for what? Great for what?

I repeated the scene over and over in my head, trying to remember it as accurately as possible. Unfortunately, my overwhelming tiredness was starting to take over me, but I fought it off as hard as I could. However, my hardest wasn't enough, as the memory started to include Roger saying that I was a long-lost princess and that I must be taken back to my kingdom…

After a while, my exhaustion made me give in, but even as sleep was closing over me, I still thought as hard as I could. The only things I thought of, before I went to deeper sleep, was _Perfect for what? Great for what?_

**Shorter than usual, but I hope you're happy :] Reviews make me do a happy dance!**


	8. A Scream can Get Away

**Hi everyone! Sorry for the super-long delay, school piling on homework. Thanks to everyone who read and favorited (I love you guys!), and enjoy the newest chapter!**

**Summary of last chapter: Alice gets a vision with Robert in attendance… who mutters something weird.**

"Wake up!" A voice called, banging on the door noisily. As I struggled to open my eyes, someone searched through the keys, then opened the door.

In the weak light, I could see a Robert-like figure standing in the door, holding a plate of bread and a glass of water. "Do you see the future?" He asked smoothly.

Ugh. I knew what was going to happen next, but I had to stick with what I believed. With any luck, I would not have to spend a long life in the asylum. Starving myself to death had suddenly become appealing when, semi-consciously, in the night I had heard rats scrabbling around.

"I see the future." I said, holding my chin up high and pretending not to notice the large, dark shape in the corner that had whiskers.

Robert sighed and threw the bread to the dark shape in the corner.

***

A few hours later- or what seemed like a few hours later, it could have been a few minutes-, Thomas appeared at the doorway with a large smile pinned to his face. "You are to see one of your fellow patients!" He beamed.

One last person before I am confined to the darkness, with only Robert and this twit visiting me.

Let's hope the man with the silver stubble is also just misunderstood, like I am.

***

After leading me down some hallways, Thomas paused at a large metal door. "He's waiting for you there." He told me knowledgably, then opened the door to reveal the man from my vision sitting on a small metal chair.

"Hello." The man said politely.

"Hello." I said automatically. "How are you?"

He gestured at our dismal surroundings. "I'm in an asylum. I've had better days."

Well, this man was clearly sane. He was just misunderstood, like I.

I permitted myself to smile a bit, and then sat down in the chair opposite him.

"How did you get here?" The man continued.

"I see the future." I replied.

The man smiled. "That's nice. What do you see in it?"

"Darkness."

The man nodded somberly.

I decided it was my turn for questions. "How did you get here?"

The man looked thoughtful. "I killed my wife and children. All four of them." He said proudly.

Oh.

I tried discreetly to move my chair further away from his. "Then why aren't you in a prison?"

The man looked from side to side, then whispered "It's because the voices told me to."

Good Lord.

I tried to mirror his somber face, but I let a small, hysterical giggle escape through my lips.

The man held his head high. "It is not funny."

I successfully held my shock under control and asked "What else do they tell you to do?"

He looked shifty. "Things."

It was my turn to look from side to side. Thomas had left the room, but I could see a bulky mans silhouette against the door. Not a chance to escape now, but…

"Can they tell you how to escape?" I hissed.

The man's eyes glowed. "Give me a moment."

He sat quietly for a moment, while I fidgeted and stared at the door and hoped against hope that Thomas would not come in.

It was an agonizing wait.

Finally, the man nodded and said quietly, in a voice quite unlike his own: "I can hurt the man who brings me food. He is an unpleasant, mocking fellow, and I will take great pleasure in doing it. Then, I will run stealthily through the corridors, taking the first right, the fourth left, and the ninth left. I will escape, and, among the confusion, your door will be left open and you can escape too. This is what is to happen tonight."

He then exhaled. "Isn't that a good plan?" The man asked in his normal voice.

I nodded in awe. "Excellent."

***

After some other small talk, Thomas opened the door and smiled widely at us. "Miss Brandon, I am to take you back to your room. You, sir, will have to wait for a moment."

The man nodded agreeably. "Ladies first."

"I am pleased to have had the pleasure of meeting you." I said formally.

"Likewise."

Thomas escorted me back to my room.

Just as I was about to be put in my room, a sudden thought struck me.

I hadn't even asked for the man's name.

***

The escape.

That was all I could think of. Hours passed, and I grew increasingly tense. When would it happen?

The darkness seemed to be seared into my eyes. My memories grew fainter. I still pondered over what had happened yesterday, with my vision. I was perfect for it, and it could be great. I clung to those memories, because they gave me a nice feeling. I was good for something.

Another hour seemed to pass, and then I heard a scream.

I stood up abruptly. The scream was unlike ones I had heard before. It was chilling, shrill, and cut short, the kind of scream you would expect to be your last.

I heard the thuds of people running up hallways, and then an awful silence, broken by the odd moan by lunatics.

What had just happened?

***

A few hours later, the door opened to reveal Robert.

He had a plate with bread on it and a glass of water.

He asked me if I saw the future, and I replied I did.

He threw the bread to the rats in the corner.

I can see a tradition starting.

***

After a fitful and sleepless night, I discovered my leg hurt. Upon rubbing the spot it hurt, I could feel the distinct marks of a bite. The rats had bitten me.

I cried when I thought that the only animals in the building hate me.

***

This time, when Robert opened the door, I was ready.

"What was that scream last night?"

He froze. "What scream?"

"_That_ scream." I said angrily. Would he deny it ever happened?

"A patient tried to escape." Robert said shortly.

"Which one? And what happened to the patient?" I was growing increasingly tense. "Why did he scream?"

"It was Dexter Thorner, or, as he preferred, Dee. He was the man you met yesterday." Robert said, avoiding the other questions I had asked.

"Why did he scream?" I repeated.

Robert stayed silent for a moment, then he spoke. "It's because he was trying to escape. The man attacked me, not knowing I was stronger than him. He was badly hurt. The manager didn't see the point of helping the wounded man, so I did my job."

"You _kill_ people?" I said, disgusted. "And then you bring food to us?"

I was appalled.

Robert kept quiet. And then he spoke.

"I take it you do not want food today."

I snarled. Robert infuriated me. To think I had thought the man attractive!

He turned, opened the door and stood by the doorframe for a moment, then he said quietly "He was escaping, Miss Brandon. We do not tolerate escape."

Robert looked behind his shoulder at me. "We do not tolerate escape." He repeated. "You cannot get away."

And with that he closed the door.

**You see this button below? It's called **_**reviewing**_**. All you have to do is press the button and write a few words, and then I get happy and write faster. And, as a bonus, you get virtual cookies. **_**Virtual cookies.**_


	9. Basically, a Vampire

**Again, sorry for the delay. All the rain is getting to my brain x_X**

**Summary of last chapter: Alice meets Dee, his voice creates a plan for them to escape, he gets caught and killed while escaping, and Alice learns that Robert is the one that kills the lunatics.**

My years at the asylum were hazy.

Every day was the same. Food, torture, vision, sleep. Food, torture, vision, sleep. In, out, in, out.

The times I spent locked in my room, with nothing to do- I used to think that was boring. Now, about four years after I had entered this place, I was used to it. I spent the time monitoring my breathing and carving holes in the wall with a rock. I worked on one hole a day- it was my way of knowing how long I had been here. _In, out, in, out._

A rat scrabbled in the corner, desperate with hunger. I felt my stick-like arms unknowingly. To think that a few years ago I had been worried about such trivial things like getting married to some person!

As always, when I started flicking through my memories, they were dark shapes, speaking in a flat tone. Darkness had branded itself in my eyes, stopping me from remembering better. Had I once had a sibling? Had I once had kind, caring parents?

A key scrabbled in the lock. I turned over so that I wouldn't have to see the light. It burned my eyes.

I remember my parents once discussing a book. Its name is long forgotten to me, but it was about vampires. _Aversion to light_- yes, I was, basically, a vampire.

"Do you see the future?" A silky voice asked me. I had known Robert for a long, long time now, but he never seemed to change.

Unlike me.

"No." I said, my voice hoarse. This was the only time of day I ever spoke.

Bread and a glass of water was given to me. "That's a good girl."

I scarfed down the bread and water, then returned the plate and glass. "Thank you."

"Thomas will come in some time to escort you."

There was no need for Robert to say where I was going to be escorted, since we both knew very well.

For a moment, there was a pause, and then Robert mumbled "Soon."

"Excuse me?"

The door shuddered as he made an abrupt departure.

I remember that a long time ago he had done something similar… but if only I could remember what it was…

**Sorry for the short chapter! I promise you the next chapter will come up sooner than this one. **_**I promise**_**. Virtual cookies to people who review!**


	10. Remember the Memories

**Last time I promised that I would put up the new chapter quicker than I did before. Sorry, I was lying. I won't say something like that this time, but I promise that I haven't given up on this story.**

**Summary of last chapter: Alice has been in the asylum for four years already. Robert says "Soon." and Alice doesn't know what he's talking about, and she's trying to figure out.**

"_Soon."_

That was what Robert had told me yesterday. I remember that he had once said something similar before, but my memories do not stretch back far enough so that I can remember what he said. Torture is the one constant reminder, and as I had focused on it, years ago, the rest of my mind blurred.

However, the word _soon_ gives me hope. It could be "Soon, you will die." or "Soon, you will escape." Both prospects cheer me, and the corners of my mouth lift into an unfamiliar shape.

Then a vision clouds my thoughts.

However, it is not the one I always have. This one… is full… of light…

It burns my eyes and I squint, trying to make the pain go away, and then it's over.

Furious, I utter an expletive that I've heard often when patients pass my room, and start gently hitting my head against the wall. As I get more frustrated, I hit my head harder and harder, until-

"_So it's true. She's perfect for it." Robert murmured quickly and quietly to himself. "It could be great."_

-until I finally remembered what he had said.

"So it's true. She's perfect for it. It could be great." I repeated, trying to remember more.

The Robert in my head nodded encouragingly and smiled.

"So it's true. She's perfect for it. It could be great." I said loudly, noticing that my voice sounded very strange. I started to pace up and down the room, murmuring the words to myself frantically. I considered stopping, but every time I paused, the Robert in my head told me harshly to think back as far back as possible, and since I had nothing better- nothing _else_- to do, I obeyed.

And then when he started telling me that I needed to remember _more_ and that I had to remember _more_, I started straining my memories as hard as I could.

Running my fingers through my boyish haircut, I scrunched up my face and tried to sift through my memories, though the days were the same, and as soon as I got close to remembering more, I got mixed up with similar days and started thinking about yesterday.

Eventually, exhausted, I slumped against the wall, but bolted upwards with a cry of disgust; I had sat on a cold rat corpse. After a small pause in which I kicked the rat out of the way, I rested my head against the wall.

The wall.

I began to hit my head against the wall as hard as I could.

**Thanks for reading :D xoxo**


	11. Must be Blood

**Yeah, writing again! :D**

**Summary of last chapter: Alice remembers **_**"So it's true. She's perfect for it." Robert murmured quickly and quietly to himself. "It could be great." **_**And then she wants to remember more, so she starts hitting her head against the wall.**

Jolting out of unconsciousness, I felt something cold trickling down the back of my head.

_What?_

I put a hand to the origin of the cold, trickling substance and then I winced from pain and realized it must be blood.

The rat sitting on my stomach scrambled away as I struggled to bring myself to a sitting position. I tried to remember how to stop bleeding as I leaned against the wall. Something about putting pressure on it, or something about how it will eventually stop.

I decided that I would just trust that the blood would stop, when I heard a strange, unknown noise. It was like something very fast moving in the corridor, faster than the fastest horses and even the fastest trains. Suddenly, it stopped.

And then my door was ripped off.

I swear that my heart stopped at that moment. The thing in front of me appeared human, but it was inhumanly beautiful. And then it was next to me, and even in the dim light I could see the bloodlust that was in its crazy black eyes, and I think I screamed but then Robert was there, pulling the thing off me.

"I _am_ sorry, Miss Brandon," He apologized, gripping the thing tightly at the back of its neck while it snarled at him and struggled to get away. "My brother has come to visit, and he was _quite_ eager to meet everyone."

I nodded, speechless, as he escorted his brother outside my room and then rapidly put the door back into its frame. With a small nod to me, he closed the door.

Then I heard a quick scream, and I worried that something had happened. Mutters followed the scream, and, in the rush, the only words I could make out were "smells so good".

What smells so good? Surely not me. My time at the asylum has made its mark on me- I smelled like the inside of a toilet.

I heard a quick _whack!_ and then hurried footsteps making their way out of here.

The door was opened, and Robert swiftly gave me some food and departed, his face drawn.

He didn't even ask if I saw the future.

**Yay, another chapter up (though I'm sorry for the length- or rather, lack of it)! Thanks for reading :)**


	12. Brother or Not?

**Gah! Yet another late chapter. Hopefully, since the trimester has ended, I'll be able to write more since I don't have to worry about tests.**

**Summary of last chapter: Alice's head starts bleeding, and Robert's 'brother' rips the door off and attempts to attack her before Robert stops him.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine, unfortunately.**

I sniffed my arm again today. I still don't smell good.

Really, I don't understand why Robert's brother said that. _Smells so good_? It definitely wasn't something in the asylum, yet I keep sniffing my arm to check if I smell good.

There was a quick knock on the door- Robert, probably. The door opened and confirmed my guess.

"Do you see the future?" Robert asked dully, and for a fleeting moment I wondered if perhaps he also tired of the repetitive conversation that we had three times a day. He didn't only give food to me- he must be having the same conversation with all the other patients in the asylum.

"No." I replied shortly, and held out a hand for my food.

But he paused before he gave the food to me. "My brother," Robert suddenly said. "Is sick. Yes. He's ill. His name is James, and he has a mental illness. Whatever he did, whatever he said, is just a product of his illness. Nothing more."

I doubted this for a second. Could a simple illness create the amount of bloodlust in James's black eyes? But then Robert spoke, and his voice was much more sincere.

"His illness inspired me to work in an asylum, so that I could help all people suffering like him."

I believed it. Robert was sincere. He certainly couldn't be lying- it was quite easy for me to tell when someone was lying. No one I had ever met could fool me with lies.

Robert stepped forward and gave me the food, and then he walked out the room and locked the door.

Incredible. Robert had been moved to do something because of his brother's sickness. This was a type of kindness I had not known about. The selfless kind of kindness.

But a small voice started speaking in the back of my head, and it wouldn't be quiet.

_They're brothers?_ _How can they be brothers? One is crazy, and the other one is sane. How does that work?_

"It happens." I said aloud. "Look at my sister and me…"

I desperately tried to remember my sister's name. It began with an S, didn't it? It was something like Sylvia, right?

_You have a point. But I don't think he's telling the truth. I think he's keeping something from you. Why would he tell you the truth? And besides, what about all those mysterious things he was saying beforehand? He never explained it to you, did he?_

I curled up into a ball.

_It's a lie, Alice. James could never be his brother._

And then the voice was gone.

I didn't believe it, anyway.

**I hope to get another chapter up soon- but I'm not making promises, okay? Anyway, thanks for reading ^^**


	13. Just Let Me Die

**Well. (Late) Happy Holidays! I seriously can't believe I didn't write this long. I'm so, **_**so**_** sorry! **

**Summary of last chapter: Alice doesn't understand how she "smells so good", Robert tells her James is his brother and she doesn't believe him.**

_Why would he lie to me_?

Alice. Stop it. It's been a long time since that happened.

A rat climbed up my leg onto my lap and I picked it up and stroked it absent-mindedly. I had become used to the rats. Before, I had worried they would make me sick. Now, I welcomed sickness. Sickness, and hopefully death, would remove me from the never-ending drone of day after day after day.

I couldn't stay here any longer. My sanity was slowly slipping away with my memory. Now, all I know of light is the weak candlelight that filters through when my food is given to me, and when they try to make me lose my visions through those awful pieces of machinery.

I think I've lost something, but I can't remember. I think- I _think_- that a long time ago I had been normal, or as normal as you can get when you have visions. Now I can't remember anything. A few weeks- months?- ago I had hit my head against the wall and remembered some things. I learned my lesson when James turned up, though.

_Is he his brother?_

Now I was questioning myself. My fellow lunatics must have a way to get out. Surely I can do something to end the monotony of the never-ending days, weeks, months.

How?

The rat squeaked as I curled my hand into a fist. I released it and listened as it scrabbled towards the wall.

The wall.

I could hit myself against it, of course. Collapse on the ground, and with any luck James won't come this time to alert Robert of what I had done. The easiest- and probably only- way out is death.

Or maybe I could try to escape. I would be shot then, like… like someone I had known. Or was it someone I had heard about? It didn't matter; I was going to give up.

But which way? Hitting my head against the wall was more painful. I'd suffered my amount of pain for too long. But I could hardly run fast enough…

_Then you'd die quicker._

There was a knock on the door.

I quickly walked towards it.

Robert opened the door, holding a small jug of water and some bread. His eyes widened as he noticed I was not in my usual spot…

_Now!_

I quickly ducked under his outstretched arm and ran as fast as I could-

Robert grabbed my arm painfully and threw me against the door. I winced as I felt a rusted nail puncture my back. I knew that within seconds, it would start bleeding.

"What are you doing?" He hissed, and then he stopped and smelled something. He bit his lip and then I was going forward at an impossible speed.

I gasped, but the sound was left behind. This was faster then I'd ever been, faster than I could possibly imagine. The asylum was long gone, and now we were outside, and it was so light is seared my eyes. I closed my eyes, but somehow the light could still get through. It was almost more painful than the wound in my back, and that was quite something because the nail was _pointy._

Suddenly Robert stopped. I braved the light, opened my eyes, and saw a deserted hut, then shut my eyes tightly.

He quickly opened something (the door, probably), and put me down on something comfortable.

"I'm sorry," Robert said quietly. "But you have a great talent, and you are more valuable than the average human. This is the only way to stop him."

"What?" I croaked, opening my eyes a bit to see a concerned Robert.

He sighed. "You'll understand soon enough, if you remember."

Then Robert leaned close to my neck and whispered "Don't blame me."

I screwed my face up in confusion, then screamed as he bit my neck because it was _so very painful_ and everything was becoming black and Robert let go and my mind was spinning and _I was on fire!_

_Burning, burning, burning, burning, agony, agony, burn, burn, BURN!!_

This was a zillion, quadrillion, _infinitely_ more painful than the most pain I could've ever imagined.

_I should have taken my chances with the "painful" wall_.

"_What did you do? She's _mine!" I heard someone hiss, and then there was an ominous crack before a fresh wave of flames engulfed me and I think I screamed but I couldn't hear.

_Just let me die now, please._

**So. This is it. **

**Thank you to all the people who reviewed, who favorited, who story-alerted. Thank you as well to all the people who read this story, whether it was the whole thing, a chapter, a paragraph, or a sentence. I owe it all to you. You're all fabulous! 3**

**-alicecullenrocksforever**


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